Saturday, September 24, 2011

Two Pink Lines

Two pink lines showed up on a test five weeks ago!
Being someone with "female issues" thanks to a condition called PCOS, taking pregnancy tests is something I emotionally steal myself against knowing that most likely my body is just being dumb and I am not actually pregnant. So when those two pink lines show up it usually takes a few minutes for it to sink in, this time was no different.

If I am honest, August was a hard month for me. Back in the spring I had gone to a women's retreat with our church where I felt the Lord challenge me to finally let go of the worry of having more children. The phrase that kept coming to mind was "It is finished" and I felt so at peace with the future of our family knowing that God was in control. Then I missed a period, then I had a six week long period, then my body was crazy, then I thought I was pregnant and three tests came out negative, then the doubts crept back in. So August was a month filled with tears, with anxious dreams and fitful nights, with daily battles to keep my head above water and trust in all that God had spoken to my heart a few months prior. It was a long month and I often felt torn as I wrestled with questioning the promises I had been given.

At the very end of August I started feeling hungry, waking up in the middle of the night to eat handfuls of almonds, and waiting all day long for dinner to come so I could finally feel full. A quiet hope built in me that I was pregnant but I pushed it off thinking it was too good to be true. On September 7th, two pink lines showed up and relief washed over me, I wasn't crazy I was pregnant!

Three weeks later I walked in to the doctors office excited to see the tiny little dot that was our baby. I told my health saga to the nurse practitioner warning her I was pretty confident that I was only 6 weeks along, not 11 like my last period date suggested. She was gracious and supportive saying that we'd just change the due date once she was able to measure the size of the baby on the ultrasound. What popped up on the screen was a little gummy bear NOT a tiny blueberry sized baby, with kicking arm and leg nubbins. I was in awe watching it bounce around on the screen. After a few clicks of the mouse the nurse practitioner chuckled and said, "Well you're definitely farther along than six weeks, you're actually 10 1/2 weeks!" I could not believe it, and as I looked back at everything I went through emotionally in August it made sense, I was pregnant the whole time!

With that said, I am grateful for the month of struggle I went through because I needed to wrestle and question all that I did with the Lord. Now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is powerful to heal and faithful to provide regardless of my wandering heart. But besides that, I'm also grateful I skipped out on almost 5 weeks of being pregnant...every woman should get to have that experience it's exhilarating! I'm also glad I'm not crazy, my pants were starting to feel tight and when I stepped on the scale at the doctors office I had gained three pounds. "Three pounds in six weeks and tight pants already, I know you show earlier with your second but I'm doomed" I thought to myself. Thankfully it was all just because I was farther along than I thought.

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Thursday, September 22, 2011

A New Skill

Owen has learned a new skill - the art of blowing on things. He first caught on to this new found effect when I stumbled across a field of dandylion puffs while at a rest stop on our long drive home from the cabin. He of course found it hilarious every time the puff of seeds flew gracefully in the air. This last week while out on one of our daily strolls down the street, we discovered our very own patch of dandylion puffs. With no hesitation Owen quickly grabbed one in his chubby hand, yanked, and brought the puff to his mouth to blow on. Unfortunately, between the yanking and pulling the puff ball was pretty much decimated before it ever reached his eager puffed out cheeks. I quickly snatched him up, headed to our yard with a few carefully selected puff balls, grabbed my camera and snapped away as his hand again at puffing away. He was in heaven...till he discovered that the seeds stuck to his lips!

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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Just because....

....sometimes we need to look at things from a different perspective.

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Saturday, September 10, 2011

Story Time

One of the perks of being the only nephew at this point is the bounty of laps upon which to sit and read books. Owen loves to read and took advantage of both Aunt Theresa and Uncle Joseph for multiple story time sessions.

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For Aunt Julie - Dirt and rocks

Owen and I would like to dedicate this post to Josh's Aunt Julie. Aunt Julie is one of those people who lives too far away and every time we see her it is not long enough to soak up all that is wonderful about her. She is quick to laugh with a brilliant mind and an incredible gift for teaching. I am amazed by the insight of her questions and the fact that she always leaves you with the feeling that you are never far from her mind even when the months go by. So Aunt Julie, this ones for you. Thank you for being one of my biggest blog fans and for caring so much about us! We love you!

For Labor Day weekend we treked across the North Cascades with my brother Elias, his wife Theresa and my brother Joseph, to one of our favorite spots on earth, our tiny little cabin in the woods. This is the first time that we've been over to Mazama since Owen started walking. I was so excited to see him begin to discover the many wonderful things the cabin has to offer, knowing full well that he would be in heaven. Lets just say he was covered from head to toe in dirt for three straight days and would probably still be sitting in the dirt if we'd let him. Honestly, I was tempted to take the same pictures every day just to chronicle the fact that the outfit may have changed but the activity did not. After eating breakfast we'd put Owen in his "play clothes" and head outside with his trusty orange shovel in hand. After setting him on the ground, he would take one maybe two steps before his tiny tush would be heading towards the ground. The rest was history, he barely moved from his location, content to heap dusty dirt, pine cones, and rocks upon his legs, shoes and head.

The other favorite daily activity of our four day weekend was trips to the river to throw rocks. I wish that I had some pictures from my brothers camera of our evening re-enacting one of our favorite childhood activities- throwing boulders off the bridge and watching the huge splash that ensued. Owen was mesmerized by the effect his rock throwing had from the bridge.
Most afternoons and evenings were more low key, sitting on the banks of the river throwing pebbles into the icy waters or watching the "big boys" skip smooth stones across the river. Owen's rock throwing routine is much the same as his digging in the dirt routine: shovel in hand, take a few steps, sit down, and don't move for the next hour. It's honestly amazing to me sometimes how focused he can be when doing something he loves.

It was such a joy to see the cabin through Owens eyes for the first time. I look forward to the years ahead as he discovers "lizard rock," ant hills, fishing with Daddy, and the magical world of imagination and adventure the forest holds.

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