Sunday, August 23, 2009

Fire Trucks and Lyrics

Phil Stacey - You're not Shaken

I am sinking in a river that is raging I am drowning,
will I ever rise to breathe againI want to know why
I just want to understand

Will I ever know why
How could this be from Your hand
When every little thing that I have dreamed would be
Just slips away like water through my hand

And when it seems the walls of my belief are crashing down
Like they're all made of sand
I won't let go of You now, because I know You're not shaken

I'm trembling in the darkness of my own fear
All the questions with no answers still grip me while I'm here
And I may never know why I may not understand

But I will lift up my eyes
And trust this is Your plan
When I am in the valley of the shadow of death
You're not shaken, You're not shaken
You're right here beside me and
You have never left

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Thursday, August 13, 2009


This week has been an interesting one. A week full of emotions I thought I had come to terms with all the while sprinkled with the excitement of beginning a new adventure of shopping for OUR first home. I must admit, I thought after coming home from Nicaragua that we would be at a different place than we are now. Nine months and I still feel like we are standing on the front porch knocking on the door, waiting to come inside. Or sometimes it feels like we are two kids who have worked hard to climb to the top of a steep hill and are at the pinnacle where the hard work turns into fun as you run carefree down the slope. I know that release is coming, I feel it brewing and I long for the day when I can feel the proverbial wind rushing through my hair and against my cheeks or feel the warm embrace of home. I will rejoice knowing that God has provided but while I wait I am grateful for His provision as 7 days out of 7 He has given me (and us) grace to rest in His timing. But sometimes, there are days where the unfulfilled weighs heavy on my heart. This is one of those weeks and I am wrestling to understand God's timing and His plan for dreams I feel He has given us.

So as I wrestle, my catharsis is food. Not in the sense of eating, but of making. I can see why Martha Stewart started out in the kitchen, while it can be tiring work, it is a rewarding, delicious and, to me, soothing process. This past Sunday, I revisited my childhood and tried my hand at a tradition we have in my family of making applesauce every August. Now, I have never attempted this feat with out the applesauce making pro who is my Mother, but I figured that I have done this enough times with her, that I should be able to succeed on my own. So, armed with the wisdom she passed down, I strapped on her trusted apron, pulled out the apple peeler/core-er (yes that is a word), canning pot, jars, lids and set my mind and hands to turning 20 lbs of apples into sweet and tangy applesauce. 4 hours later I found myself amidst a large mess, a warm bowl of fresh applesauce, and 8 perfectly sealed jars of my very own applesauce. Mission accomplished and catharsis achieved.

Apples vs. Jars who will win?

Looks like the jars did.

Aftermath of the apples meeting the apple pealer/core-er.

While waiting for my first batch I got distracted by my mom's beautiful garden.

Then back to the process...

Grind up the cooked apple mush, add the two other essential ingredients (sugar and cinnamon), bathe jars in a boiling hot bath, 20 minutes later you will have tasty applesauce to put in your pantry and save for those inevitable rainy days of winter, where a taste of summer goes a long ways.

Thank you Gravenstein apples for providing me an outlet to soothe a heart that is feeling a little weary.