On
April 15, 2012 at 2:26 a.m. this precious little boy was born and our
hearts expanded in love once again. As I sit here and write this
reflection he sleeps contentedly next to me, his warm little body
snuggled up close, his baby scent so delicious, and already it is hard
to imagine life with out him.
I am intrigued to see what his little personality will be as the weeks turn in to months and he grows out of his sleepy newborn stupor and into who God has created him to be.
Already he displays strength, in the way he holds his head up, the clarity of demand heard in his cry, and even demonstrated to me in his birth story. We are learning not to compare him to how Owen was but rather to embrace him for who he is. I would be lying if there haven't been moments of fear on my part that he'll be a "hard" baby, but as I get to know him I am relaxing and learning how to love him for who he is - my sweet gift.
However, there's more to this story of new life than just my two week reflections on life with Jesse, there's a story of birth that I want to remember before the clarity of memory fades. In general, a child's birth story begins with contractions and usually ends many hours later with a happy but tired mom delighting in the arrival of her newborn child. Jesse's story is a bit longer and one I would qualify as a journey marked by a period of emotional highs and lows as I waded through multiple days of false labor the two weeks prior to my due date.
My first false labor episode lasted for 6 hours with contractions 5 minutes a part ending in heartbreak at midnight as the contractions faded to nothing, little did I know this would be repeated a few times more. I remember waking up the next morning with a heavy heart, exhausted and disappointed that I wasn't lying in a hospital bed holding my sweet boy. However, once the emotions faded I realized I had a choice about how the final two weeks of my pregnancy could go - I could be frustrated and fight the false labor finding myself in the same depressed state each time or I could embrace each contraction knowing my body was gearing up in a different way than it had with Owen. By the grace of God and a lot of support from some fabulous women around me, I was able to embrace the journey God was taking me on as I waited for Jesse's true arrival.
On April 14th, I felt a change - I can only describe it as my contractions feeling deeper sporadic as they were. I convinced Josh to embrace the sunshine and take Owen and I to the French bakery and for a long walk in Kirkland in hopes that the walk would encourage labor to begin. As the day progressed so did the consistency of my contractions and finally at 6:30 it was safe to say labor had begun. At 10:30p.m. we called the hospital, something in hindsight I wish we had done sooner because I was having a hard time believing that this was it, that I would be holding my little boy in a few hours. Two hours after calling the hospital I knew it was time to head in as labor had kicked in to high gear. Last time on the way to the hospital Josh ran a red light this time I stopped breathing (first time I've ever hyperventilated I think) and my Mom thought she was going to be delivering a baby...I wonder what will happen next time. Two hours after arriving at the hospital, a-not-so little Jesse was born. I remember saying "Oh I'm just so glad you're finally here" over and over, the relief and joy of holding my sweet boy in my arms overshadowing the frustrations of the prior weeks.
I am so grateful for the journey the Lord took me on through this pregnancy and labor. He has truly given us a gift in Jesse (which is the meaning of his name) and I delight in what awaits us as we raise two boys.
I am intrigued to see what his little personality will be as the weeks turn in to months and he grows out of his sleepy newborn stupor and into who God has created him to be.
Already he displays strength, in the way he holds his head up, the clarity of demand heard in his cry, and even demonstrated to me in his birth story. We are learning not to compare him to how Owen was but rather to embrace him for who he is. I would be lying if there haven't been moments of fear on my part that he'll be a "hard" baby, but as I get to know him I am relaxing and learning how to love him for who he is - my sweet gift.
However, there's more to this story of new life than just my two week reflections on life with Jesse, there's a story of birth that I want to remember before the clarity of memory fades. In general, a child's birth story begins with contractions and usually ends many hours later with a happy but tired mom delighting in the arrival of her newborn child. Jesse's story is a bit longer and one I would qualify as a journey marked by a period of emotional highs and lows as I waded through multiple days of false labor the two weeks prior to my due date.
My first false labor episode lasted for 6 hours with contractions 5 minutes a part ending in heartbreak at midnight as the contractions faded to nothing, little did I know this would be repeated a few times more. I remember waking up the next morning with a heavy heart, exhausted and disappointed that I wasn't lying in a hospital bed holding my sweet boy. However, once the emotions faded I realized I had a choice about how the final two weeks of my pregnancy could go - I could be frustrated and fight the false labor finding myself in the same depressed state each time or I could embrace each contraction knowing my body was gearing up in a different way than it had with Owen. By the grace of God and a lot of support from some fabulous women around me, I was able to embrace the journey God was taking me on as I waited for Jesse's true arrival.
On April 14th, I felt a change - I can only describe it as my contractions feeling deeper sporadic as they were. I convinced Josh to embrace the sunshine and take Owen and I to the French bakery and for a long walk in Kirkland in hopes that the walk would encourage labor to begin. As the day progressed so did the consistency of my contractions and finally at 6:30 it was safe to say labor had begun. At 10:30p.m. we called the hospital, something in hindsight I wish we had done sooner because I was having a hard time believing that this was it, that I would be holding my little boy in a few hours. Two hours after calling the hospital I knew it was time to head in as labor had kicked in to high gear. Last time on the way to the hospital Josh ran a red light this time I stopped breathing (first time I've ever hyperventilated I think) and my Mom thought she was going to be delivering a baby...I wonder what will happen next time. Two hours after arriving at the hospital, a-not-so little Jesse was born. I remember saying "Oh I'm just so glad you're finally here" over and over, the relief and joy of holding my sweet boy in my arms overshadowing the frustrations of the prior weeks.
I am so grateful for the journey the Lord took me on through this pregnancy and labor. He has truly given us a gift in Jesse (which is the meaning of his name) and I delight in what awaits us as we raise two boys.
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